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162

The subjective point of departure for marriage can appear, more, as the particular inclination of the two persons who enter into this relationship, or as the provision and arrangement made by parents and so on; but its objective point of departure is the free consent of the persons — and specifically, their consent to constitute one person, to surrender their natural and single personality within that unity, which, from this point of view, is a self-limitation, but which, precisely because in it they gain their substantial self-consciousness, is their liberation.

The objective determination — and thus the ethical duty — is to enter into the state of marriage. What the external point of departure is like is, by its nature, contingent, and depends in particular on the cultivation of reflection. |169| The extremes here are, on the one hand, that the arrangement made by well-disposed parents provides the beginning, and that, in the persons who are thereby destined to become united in love for one another, inclination arises from their becoming acquainted with each other as so destined; on the other hand, that inclination appears first in the persons, as in these infinitely particularized individuals. — That first extreme, or in general the path in which the decision to marry provides the beginning and has inclination as its consequence, so that in the actual marriage both are then united, can itself be regarded as the more ethical path. — In the other extreme it is the infinitely particular peculiarity that asserts its pretensions, and which is bound up with the subjective principle of the modern world (see above, § 124, Remark). — In modern dramas and other artistic presentations, however, in which sexual love constitutes the fundamental interest, the element of penetrating frigidity found within it is brought into the heat of the passion presented, precisely through the total contingency bound up with this — namely, in that the whole interest is represented as resting only on these particular individuals, which may indeed be of infinite importance for them, but is not so in itself.

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3 responses to “162”

  1. Hegel (Notes) Avatar
    Hegel (Notes)

    [zu § 162] Marriage
    α) Identity of ends, interests – consciousness of unity – love – does not single out any determinate purpose –
    β) particular determination – living in this unity, sharing everything, caring for each other in common – the sensuous side, enjoyment – property, joint administration and use – begetting children – even when marriages are childless – help in daily and in the whole of life, shared care, enjoyment – understanding side by side, and a fixed, differentiating determination in the one or the other.
    γ) unity – the sensuous comes [to] love, because – naturalness – vitality – naturally different, two sexes. Vitality can, within itself, posit itself as differentiated – I.
    δ) lifelong union – spiritual – universality.
    What does the man want, the girl? The latter, a man – the former, a wife. – She loves him, why? Because he is to become her husband, is to make her a wife; – because from him, as husband, she is to receive her dignity, worth, joy, happiness as wife – and this consists in her becoming a wife. – Love – she recognizes this interest for her in the man – this is chiefly the girl’s feeling. The man, on account of a greater self-will, an independence outside marriage, α) is partly still more indifferent as to how the woman is constituted, – β) partly – on the contrary – is just as self-willed, as choosy –
    Beyond this substantial element, further particularities. Why did he marry [her], or she him? – On account of these particular qualities – beauty, grace, charm – friendliness toward the man – naturalness – property, this or that social standing, this or that particular character –
    In the choice, what matters is the happiness of the whole of life – Certainly – but the determination is: to share happiness and unhappiness – Indeed marriage is supposed to stand higher than happiness and unhappiness. – But happiness through one another – happiness in marriage as such, dependent on character. – The possibility, the dependence of this unity – on particular character. Otherwise happiness.
    Contingency of the acquaintance – hope of pleasing – a wholly singular trait – a story. – Once particularity has gained so great a preponderance – a good marriage depends on it – This particular element constitutes the particular being-in-love – In marriage, man and woman are found in their universality – habituation – even to marriage itself – is necessary.

    [zu § 162 Anm.] Passionate love and marriage are two different things –
    α) Passion – his self-consciousness wholly, all the sides of his being resounding only for this one and only in this one – and in possession of this one contingent person.
    β) Marriage, then, is the ground and soil from which – since private being has attained its right, interest in individual personality – activity is carried on. Community of the purpose of life as such.

  2. Eduard Gans (Additions) Avatar
    Eduard Gans (Additions)

    Among peoples where the female sex is held in low regard, the parents dispose of marriage as they see fit, without asking the individuals concerned, and these submit to it, since the particularity of feeling does not yet make any claim. The girl is concerned only with having a man, the man only with having a wife as such. In other conditions, considerations of property, of connections, or political purposes can be the determining factor. Here great hardships can occur, in that marriage is made into a means for other ends. In modern times, by contrast, the subjective starting point, being in love, is regarded as the sole important thing. Here one imagines that everyone must wait until his hour has struck, and that one can bestow one’s love only on one particular individual.

  3. Hegel (Simple) Avatar
    Hegel (Simple)

    § 162: How a marriage begins

    How does a marriage come about? The outer beginning can differ.

    Sometimes two people fall in love. Sometimes the parents bring them together. This is a matter of chance and depends on the time and the culture.

    What is essential?

    The free consent of both. They agree to become one person together. Each of them gives up something of his separateness. That is a restriction. But at the same time it is a liberation. For in their union, both gain a deeper consciousness of themselves.

    A duty:

    To enter into marriage is an ethical duty.

    Which beginning is better?

    There are two extremes. In one, well-meaning parents arrange the marriage. Affection arises because the two know that they are to become a couple. In the other, falling in love comes first. Then the individual wants to come into his right with all his peculiarity.

    In the first way, the decision comes first and the affection follows. This way may count as the more ethical one. The second has to do with the principle of the modern world. In modern plays, the love of a couple is often everything. Despite all the passion, this seems cold. For then everything hangs on the chance of these two people.

    Summary: What is essential for marriage is the free consent of both. It is restriction and liberation at once. Whether parents or falling in love make the start is secondary. But the first way may count as the more ethical one.

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